debrief08: Poster, when times get tough for me like this I do an exercise my friend taught me.
I think about where I was this time last year and I think about the challenges I was facing them, and I realise that there were a different set of challenges, yet at that time it didn't seem surmountable but I passed it and I remind my self that this will pass too and next year by this time I wouldn't be worrying about this issue.

I do this a lot too. This technique has helped me through some serious bad times.

Mac it works like Magic, Puts things in perspective oh.
Last Year at this time I was dealing with a difficult Pregnancy, was actually thinking if I would become a Maternal Mortality Statistic.
This year am dealing with challenges at work, pressure and how to properly balance work and home.

Poster, I still say I don't think its healthy going through life wishing bad things happens to people who hurt us.
Its tempting to think like that oh, But I always tell myself how would I fare if God were to use the same standard to Judge me?
If how I hurt God is how He rewards me then I will be cursed by now.
If God who breath life in me can overlook my excesses and sins even when it Hurts Him, who am I not to forgive.
Remember the story of the servant whose debt was forgiven yet he refused to forgive the one who owes him, Remember our Lords prayers, also remember Gods instructions to pray for those who hurt us and not curse them.
Love them, feed them, and forgive most importantly.

Life is like that the sooner you accept that people will always do things to hurt you and its just human nature the safer you are.
If I were you I would wish him the best and let it be. Confident in my decision.

My Friend who registed me here is a wonderful example.
She dated a guy from childhood, was with him like my case till he got a little rich but in her case he misbehaved nefore they got married.
She left and he married someone else. She was hurt and came to my place but she cried, wished him well and moved on, even commented on a few of his wedding pictures.
Recently his family faced a great tragedy and I was amazed at how firmly she stood by them even considering how they all hurt her.
Even me who overlooks and forgives easily I had to ask if she was normal. She stood for them so much and I can tell you without her support it would have been hard for them to pull through.
Even when Her Exes wife gave birth she helped his mother shop for the gifts and visited them in the hospital, I saw the Pictures she pasted and I was shocked, I asked her whose baby she told me, I couldn't say a word.
She is not married oh, but due to how close they were they now act as sibblings, Her actions opened so many doors, windows and blessings for her, so so many. Every day she calls with great news.

I hope she won't get angry with me for sharing this oh.

debrief08: My Friend who registed me here is a wonderful example.
She dated a guy from childhood, was with him like my case till he got a little rich but in her case he misbehaved nefore they got married.
She left and he married someone else. She was hurt and came to my place but she cried, wished him well and moved on, even commented on a few of his wedding pictures.
Recently his family faced a great tragedy and I was amazed at how firmly she stood by them even considering how they all hurt her.
Even me who overlooks and forgives easily I had to ask if she was normal. She stood for them so much and I can tell you without her support it would have been hard for them to pull through.
Even when Her Exes wife gave birth she helped his mother shop for the gifts and visited them in the hospital, I saw the Pictures she pasted and I was shocked, I asked her whose baby she told me, I couldn't say a word.
She is not married oh, but due to how close they were they now act as sibblings, Her actions opened so many doors, windows and blessings for her, so so many. Every day she calls with great news.

I hope she won't get angry with me for sharing this oh.

Awwww.Your friend has a beautiful heart.I pray God gives her a good man.

I swear I was abused,the day I was thrown out naked was the day I insisted on going home,he threw all my clothes in a bucket of water and pushed me out and locked the door cos I was crying.I had to steal a shirt from a neigbour railings and trecked home crying. And also any time I offended
him he would size my phone and answer my calls insisting I go down on my knees to apologise before I get my phone back. he always comes apologizing after three days that he is still hurting from his divorce. the first wife left him. it is only hurting me cos I wanted to help mould him and he scattered my self worth. The truth is dat I am not jealous of him.I have a lot of toasters but I get scared when any comes close.
I have taken the advice of some good hearted individuals and have taken the power from him by forgiving him and start on a clean plate.
I wish him the best and would send a congratulatory message on fb.
funny enough we didnt talk after the last time he came to apologize so we didn't have a cordial relationship. He made that call to scorn me but I won't give him the power

joangirl: I swear I was abused,the day I was thrown out naked was the day I insisted on going home,he threw all my clothes in a bucket of water and pushed me out and locked the door cos I was crying.I had to steal a shirt from a neigbour railings and trecked home crying. And also any time I offended
him he would size my phone and answer my calls insisting I go down on my knees to apologise before I get my phone back. he always comes apologizing after three days that he is still hurting from his divorce. the first wife left him. it is only hurting me cos I wanted to help mould him and he scattered my self worth. The truth is dat I am not jealous of him.I have a lot of toasters but I get scared when any comes close.
I have taken the advice of some good hearted individuals and have taken the power from him by forgiving him and start on a clean plate.
I wish him the best and would send a congratulatory message on fb.
funny enough we didnt talk after the last time he came to apologize so we didn't have a cordial relationship. He made that call to scorn me but I won't give him the power

Please don't go around thinking you can change anyone, most especially someone that was divorced. What made you stay with someone like him? Love, sex, self esteem issues, marriage promises or what? To where he still holds you hostage to where you are afraid to date. Pull yourself together and give a good guy a chance.

joangirl: I swear I was abused,the day I was thrown out naked was the day I insisted on going home,he threw all my clothes in a bucket of water and pushed me out and locked the door cos I was crying.I had to steal a shirt from a neigbour railings and trecked home crying. And also any time I offended
him he would size my phone and answer my calls insisting I go down on my knees to apologise before I get my phone back. he always comes apologizing after three days that he is still hurting from his divorce. the first wife left him. it is only hurting me cos I wanted to help mould him and he scattered my self worth. The truth is dat I am not jealous of him.I have a lot of toasters but I get scared when any comes close.
I have taken the advice of some good hearted individuals and have taken the power from him by forgiving him and start on a clean plate.
I wish him the best and would send a congratulatory message on fb.
funny enough we didnt talk after the last time he came to apologize so we didn't have a cordial relationship. He made that call to scorn me but I won't give him the power

Awwww e-hug.Though i commend you for not closing your eyes to obvious signs so as just to bear the MRS tag.It is well dear.The bone of your bone is out there.Move on and leave it all behind you.Most people have some sort of heartbreak story to tell.My ex-bf brought his sister and friend to my house to beg me after i said i was no longer interested.This begging no get part 2,he even had the effontery to tell my parents(thank God my dad no send you)that he wanted to pick a date to come with his people.My dad said my daughter must do masters before she marries so if you can wait(i was about to go for NYSC).He worked in a bank(marketing) and i hassled my dad,my mum everyone to deposit in his bank so he could meet his target.He even exceeded the target sef.

You wont believe this guy had done introduction with his now wife like the week before he came to beg and tell my parents that nonsense.After i had even said am not doing again o.I accepted his pleas and found wedding iv samples in his car like 2 months after.I was heartbroken but you know what got me through.I felt compassion and pity for his wife to be(he kept saying she tricked him with pregnancy poor gal).How can the man you want to spend your life with be begging another girl and talking to her parents about marriage weeks before your wedding?Really i felt compassion for her and also thought to myself i deserve better.

I did find someone waaaaaay better.So dont worry you def will.

joangirl: .
I have taken the advice of some good hearted individuals and [size=16pt]have taken the power from him by forgiving him and start on a clean plate.
I wish him the best and would send a congratulatory message on fb. [/size]
funny enough we didnt talk after the last time he came to apologize so we didn't have a cordial relationship. He made that call to scorn me but I won't give him the power

The bolded is the Koko

joangirl: I swear I was abused,the day I was thrown out naked was the day I insisted on going home,he threw all my clothes in a bucket of water and pushed me out and locked the door cos I was crying.I had to steal a shirt from a neigbour railings and trecked home crying. And also any time I offended
him he would size my phone and answer my calls insisting I go down on my knees to apologise before I get my phone back. he always comes apologizing after three days that he is still hurting from his divorce. the first wife left him. it is only hurting me cos I wanted to help mould him and he scattered my self worth. The truth is dat I am not jealous of him.I have a lot of toasters but I get scared when any comes close.
I have taken the advice of some good hearted individuals and have taken the power from him by forgiving him and start on a clean plate.
I wish him the best and would send a congratulatory message on fb.
funny enough we didnt talk after the last time he came to apologize so we didn't have a cordial relationship. He made that call to scorn me but I won't give him the power

Now I know where he is coming from.....he's a divorcee.Well not condemning divorcees but ladies when u meet such it carries a warning sign.U just have to be careful and get to really know him b4 u take a deep plunge.
NEVER EVER GO INTO A RELATIONSHIP THINKING U WILL CHANGE THE GUY.U no be God.
Time will heal ur heart,just take things easy and don't rush into any relationship now.

Joan...u got my msg?

My mail isn't opening now,would contact u once it does